Becoming a Bride – The engagement

For nearly twenty-five years, Daalarna has accompanied brides on one of the most important days of their lives. This year, however, has brought an entirely new and deeply personal chapter for Anita Benes: her daughter, Sára, is becoming a bride. In the months ahead, mother and daughter will dream up Sára’s wedding dress together, while every detail of the celebration takes on a new, deeper and more personal meaning.

In our new series, we follow this extraordinary mother-daughter journey from the moment of the engagement all the way to the wedding day. In the first chapter, we spoke with Anita and Sára about the story of the proposal, their first emotions and what it feels like when a wedding is no longer simply part of the world of Daalarna, but becomes part of their own family story.

Sára, you recently reached a truly special milestone in your life. How did the engagement happen?

Sára: It was magical, emotional and completely surreal—all at the same time. It felt as though my life had changed in a single moment, while somehow everything remained exactly the same. It is difficult to put into words.

Looking back, the whole story is actually quite funny because I absolutely did not expect the proposal. Zsombor and I have been together for more than five and a half years, and from the very beginning, it was clear to both of us that we imagined our future together. The question was never whether we wanted to get married, but simply when. I would have happily said yes after just one year together, but Zsombor always said that we should wait until we had finished university and completed our master’s degrees, which I eventually came to accept completely. However, after I graduated, Zsombor’s attitude towards marriage slowly began to change. Whenever the subject came up, he would say that marriage still felt a little too grown-up for him and that he needed more time. After about six months, I had had enough and asked him to at least give me a timeframe for when he thought he might propose. He replied, slightly panicked:“Definitely sometime within the next five to ten years.” I simply couldn’t understand why marriage had suddenly become so frightening to him, but I tried to accept it—and love him anyway. Only later did I find out that, by that point, he had actually been planning the proposal for more than a year. The ring was already in the making. He had given me such an enormous timeframe simply to make sure I wouldn’t suspect a thing. Later, he told me that I had once mentioned how much I would love the proposal to be a genuine surprise. And he took that very seriously.

One month after the infamous “five-to-ten-years” comment, we flew to Finland. The trip had been a dream holiday of mine for years because I had always wanted to see the Northern Lights. The trip was wonderful. Zsombor had planned something for every day: snowmobiling, reindeer sledding, husky sledding and even a visit to Santa Claus. He had planned to propose on the second day of our trip, during a hike.

The route felt like something out of a fairytale. The trees were covered in several metres of snow, and the freshly fallen snow crunched beneath our feet with every step. Zsombor later told me that when I started talking about how incredibly beautiful the landscape was, he knew that this was the right moment. But he wanted to find a place where we could be completely alone, so he asked me to leave the trail and explore the untouched, waist-deep snow.

Eventually, Zsombor found a beautiful, hidden little hill where we stopped to rest. That was when he took my hands and began saying the little speech he had written for me the night before, while I had been sleeping peacefully beside him without suspecting anything. I only realised what was happening when he got down on one knee and took out the ring. I was completely in shock. I simply couldn’t understand when things had changed so dramatically—from “five to ten years” to an actual proposal. I had always imagined that I would notice if he was nervous or secretly planning something. But that day, despite all the little obstacles along the way, he was so calm that I genuinely suspected nothing.

After I said yes, I immediately asked him to sit down and tell me everything. For a moment, I was even worried that perhaps all my questions over the previous months had somehow pressured him into proposing. But then I found out that he had simply been incredibly good at misleading me—and that he had already visited my parents to ask for my hand.

Those few hours we spent sitting together in the snow after the proposal, while he told me everything, were perhaps the most magical moments of the entire experience.

I remember waking up at six in the morning and being completely unable to fall back asleep because I was simply too happy.

There is also a funny detail to the story. On the very day of our engagement, Finland experienced one of the strongest Northern Lights displays of the season. There were even extraordinary reddish shades visible in the sky, and the weather was perfectly clear. But we became so absorbed in celebrating our engagement and calling our loved ones to share the news that it never even occurred to us to go outside and look at the sky. We only discovered the next day what we had missed.

In a way, I find it incredibly funny that we had travelled there specifically to see the Northern Lights—and in the end, that was the one thing we didn’t manage to see. And yet, I think that somehow makes the story even more precious to me. I love the fact that, in that moment, we were so happy that nothing else even crossed our minds—not even the very reason we had originally travelled there. And in the end, I received so much more from that trip.

I’ve heard that the story behind your engagement ring is quite special as well.

Sára: That’s right. The only thing I had ever mentioned to Zsombor was that I didn’t want a traditional engagement ring with one single centre stone because it simply didn’t feel like me. What I really meant was that I preferred more decorative rings with smaller stones. But Zsombor took the assignment much more seriously than I expected and ended up designing an entirely unique ring for me. He approached a Hungarian jewellery designer, created an inspiration sketch to show the shape he had in mind, and together they developed the final design. And I think it turned out beautifully. Perhaps the most emotional detail for me is that the amethyst stones in the ring were ones we had mined together years earlier during a trip to Austria. Zsombor had kept them all this time and later brought them to the jewellery designer, asking for those very stones to be incorporated into the ring.

What touched me most about the entire story was how much love, attention and patience had gone into every single detail.

Sára, do you have equally clear ideas when it comes to your wedding dress?

Sára: Interestingly, I feel as though I am stepping back into a role I once knew very well. As a child, being part of the world of Daalarna was completely natural to me. When I was little, I spent many of my free afternoons sewing in the atelier. During high school, I accompanied the team to campaign shoots every year, either as a model or as an assistant. I also helped as a sales assistant during Bridal Week in New York and London, and took part in fashion shows—either on the runway or behind the scenes as part of the organising team. When I still lived at home, I followed the creation of almost every collection, and of course, I always had an opinion. I would say which lace I liked, which flower was my favourite or where I thought a rose should be placed—even if, looking back now, that may not always have been the best place for it. (Laughs.)

Until the age of twelve, I competed in rhythmic gymnastics, and Mami designed my competition costumes as well. Creating them was always something we did together. As a child, I naturally felt that I had the most beautiful costumes of all, which was a wonderful feeling.

Then, when I moved abroad and began my career in research, I became a little more distant from this world. But now, as we prepare for my own wedding, I somehow find myself returning to it. Only this time, I am returning in a completely different role.

It feels as though I am reaching back towards my childhood while, at the very same time, an entirely new and grown-up chapter of my life is beginning.

We have imagined the design process for my wedding dress as something we will experience together. First, I would like to try on as many Daalarna dresses as possible to discover which silhouettes truly feel closest to me. Then, we will travel to Paris together to choose the fabrics from which my dress will be created.

Anita: For me, this makes the process particularly special because, when designing a dress, choosing the fabric is just as important as choosing the silhouette itself. A piece of lace or a special texture can determine so much. It shapes the character of the dress, the feeling of the silhouette and even the way the fabric will move on the body.

Sára: Every season, Mami travels to select the lace and fabrics for the new collections, and this year, I will be joining her. This time, however, it will be completely different, because together we will choose the materials from which my own wedding dress will be made.

Anita: That is why Première Vision Paris is such an important part of this journey. It is both incredibly moving and a real privilege to be able to attend one of the most significant professional events in the international fashion and textile industry together. Here, we have the opportunity to discover the fabrics, colours, textures and technological innovations of upcoming seasons long before they appear in finished collections. We are not simply choosing “beautiful fabrics.” We are also observing the directions that will shape the next season and considering which elements truly belong in the world of Daalarna—and now, which ones feel right for Sára.

Sára: When I think about it, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to experience this entire process with her.

What does it feel like to have your mother as your designer? Does it make choosing your dress easier—or perhaps more difficult?

Sára: For me, it is without question a blessing. I trust Mami’s taste so much that I hardly even buy everyday clothes without asking for her opinion first. I simply know that she always notices what is truly special. That is why there was never even a moment of doubt in my mind that she would design my wedding dress. It feels so natural that I honestly never even considered another possibility.

Just as she created my competition costumes when I was a child, it feels completely natural to me that I will wear one of her creations on my wedding day.

Anita, what emotions are you experiencing now as the wedding approaches? As both a designer and a mother, you are in such a uniquely special position.

Anita: It was interesting listening to Sára just now because, for her, this world truly is as natural as breathing. For me, however, this is my work. For twenty-five years, weddings have surrounded me. I have worked with brides, designed dresses and believed that I already knew everything there was to know about this period of life. But now that it has become so personal, suddenly everything has taken on an entirely different meaning.

Honestly, for the first time in my life, I truly understand what it feels like to prepare for a wedding. I don’t think I was even this excited when I was preparing for my own.

Ever since Zsombor came to our home and asked for Sára’s hand, I have felt as though we have begun a long journey. Or perhaps it began much earlier. Maybe it started twenty-five years ago, when she was born. In that moment, the possibility that one day this day would truly arrive became real. Even today, I find it difficult to talk about without tears. Sometimes, I genuinely feel as though I have been preparing for this my entire life.

After the birth of my children, this is the next great milestone in my life. Because for me, a wedding has always been so much more than a beautiful celebration. This may be my profession, and I design wedding dresses, but I have always needed to understand for myself why all of this matters so much. Why so much love, attention and energy go into the creation of a single dress. And I have come to realise that a wedding dress is, in many ways, a symbol. A symbol of the celebration where two people—and two families—become connected. For me, it is one of the most important family celebrations a person can experience.

I have come to realise that a wedding dress is, in many ways, a symbol. A symbol of the celebration where two people—and two families—become connected.

And now, for the first time, I am not observing this from the outside. I think a wedding is the moment when you truly understand that your child has grown up. Not on their eighteenth birthday. Not when they move abroad or go to university. Those are important milestones too, but somehow, they still remain your child.

There is something about a wedding that carries a certain sense of final and undeniable beauty. It is not about letting go, because your child remains part of your life in exactly the same way. It is more about understanding that someone else will now become their first person. A new family is being created, and with love, you welcome your child into that new life.

Perhaps that is why this entire experience feels so emotional to me.

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And interestingly, perhaps because of this, I have also started thinking differently about the details I once viewed primarily through a professional lens. What will the atmosphere feel like? What colours will surround us? What emotions do we want to create? These are no longer simply aesthetic questions. They are all part of the feeling we want to preserve from this day.

Sára: Listening to you, I am only now beginning to realise how differently you and I experience all of this. Before the proposal, I honestly had no idea what emotions an engagement or a wedding could awaken. I thought the proposal itself would be the most beautiful moment. But then I discovered that something entirely new begins afterwards. One of my most emotional memories, for example, is when Zsombor and I began calling our family and friends to tell them that we had gotten engaged.

As people congratulated us, celebrated with us and, so often, cried with us over the phone, I truly understood that this was not only about the two of us.

Now, what we are looking forward to most is having everyone we love gathered in one place on our wedding day. Our family. Our childhood friends. Friends from university and work. All the people who have accompanied us throughout our lives. Because we have lived in so many different countries, our loved ones will literally be travelling from all over the world. Perhaps this will be the only time in our lives when everyone will be there with us at once.

And you know, when you say that, for you, this is partly about letting go… I experience it completely differently. I don’t feel as though we have to let each other go at all. You will still be my Mami. You will still be part of my life. For me, this is much more a celebration of our love. A celebration of the fact that we found each other and that we can share this moment with the people we love most.

Of course, I want everything to be beautiful—the dress, the flowers, the decoration—because these things give the celebration its sense of occasion. But more and more, I feel that they are simply the frame around it all.

What truly matters is that we will be there with the people who mean the most to us.

Anita: I think that is perhaps the most beautiful difference between us. You are truly celebrating the future, while I am, in some way, celebrating the past as well. I see the journey we have taken together to arrive here, while you see the one that is only just beginning.

And perhaps that is exactly what makes this wedding so special for us. We are all experiencing the same celebration, yet it carries an entirely different meaning for each of us. For you, it is the beginning of a life together. For me, it is the miracle of having watched my little girl become a woman who is ready for this new chapter. And I think that it is these two perspectives, together, that will give this day its true beauty.